Skip to main content

Why Are You Single?


Why Are You Single?

All to often I have heard individuals ask a woman why she's single. Most times there is an implication or suggestion that if she is single then something must be wrong.  Perhaps she is single because something is right. I happen to know plenty of beautiful, educated, and emotionally available women who are not willing to settle for a piece of a man for the sake of saying she has one.  Maybe I am confused; but I am still trying to figure out what’s so bad about the single life.  It sure beats being with someone and still being lonely. Nevertheless, I will take a moment to help you understand why many women are single.

The first year of my separation, I took time to heal.  I was in a broken place I wanted to make sure I cleansed myself of toxins and baggage.  I knew the man God had for me, in my future, deserved a woman who was whole and complete.  I took time and discovered me.  I reconnected with my inner-self.  I dated myself and I recognized areas in my life where I could improve. In short, I invested a lot of time in bettering myself.

Not only did I work on myself internally, but externally too.  I began to pursue my goals. I learned how to live a fulfilled life.  I discovered businesses and ventures that were lying dormant in me.  I began building an empire and legacy that I could leave behind for my daughter.  I yielded my heart to helping others who were emotionally damaged.  I learned what it was like to sacrifice unselfishly.  I embraced my singleness on every level, and I made myself a promise to not settle for what I don’t want for the sake of being wanted.

You see, most career-minded women who have their “ish” together aren’t willing to jeopardize their happiness, sanity, and lifestyle for just anyone.  Do we want a man?  Yes!  Are we willing to settle for any man?  Heck no!

I tell young ladies all the time, it is okay to build with a man, but be certain he already has a blue print and foundation laid.  I have run into way too many men, thirty-five years and older, who are looking for a sponsor.  They say they want a woman they can build with, but they come to the construction site without wood, bricks, nails, or even a hammer.  These men are broke and broken and when you try to encourage them or present a better way to them, they come up with excuses. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am for supporting my man ten toes down, but I will not be a sponsor to a grown man.  Some men expect women to be their counselor, cook, provider, encourager, arm piece, intimate partner, etc., but have nothing to give to her aside from sex, and she likely don’t want that.  There are men who feel that their presence is enough, and while it is good, it doesn’t pay the bills.
 
Truth be told, I will take single over settling.  After-all, its much better to wait long then marry wrong.


My name is Tiffany LaMeia and I am dedicated to becoming a better me, encouraging you to be a better you, and helping you to understand that you are #ENOUGH!  -Have a Prosperous Day!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Do You See You?

Five years ago, I was in, what I call, for lack of a better words, a dark place. I call it that because I was in a place where I couldn't see beyond the now. Honestly, I was depressed and oppressed, but I pressed. There were so many nights that I cried myself to sleep. There were days in which I struggled to eat and was just plain old exhausted; but I kept going.  Every single day, I got up! I got up and and I made a conscious decision to push through the pain. You see I am what you would call a "church" girl. I'm that preacher's kid that LIVED at church. I'd heard enough sermons to carry me through practically anything I could face, and I knew that somehow, if I just kept pushing, if I just kept going, something would break. Things would get better, and they did.   Although I was in a dark space, there was a hope that I had, that was bigger than what I could see. My vision, my faith, and my imagination had shown me "me" in a diff...
Post a Comment
Read more

You've Changed!

Ever had someone tell you “you’ve changed,” as if it was an insult?  I have too; and my response was “of course I’ve changed.”  I mean what is the point of living if you’re not going to change? Honestly, if we all take a look at our pictures from birth, adolescents, teen years, college years, and even last year, I can guarantee that something about us have changed.   As long as we live, we will change; but I have found that people are more accepting of organic change than they are of intentional change. A few years ago I made a conscious decision to change.   This change was the equivalent of going into a dressing room and changing from sweats to a formal gown. It was drastic, and it was intentional.    I knew that I had been living a sub-par life.   I wasn’t utilizing my education and experiences to help others, and I had gotten in a place where I settled for mediocre.   I was tired of status quo and determined that there was more to lif...
Post a Comment
Read more

Stop Stalking Me!

PJ Morton said it best: “I don’t want to go through your phone... Some things are better left unknown." Take it from me, it’s not worth it. After spending a good portion of my life checking phone calls, direct messages, text messages, receipts, etc., it suddenly dawned on me that I was wasting my life trying to catch my significant other, cheating.   I mean… I wasted A LOT of hours and days consumed with the task of playing private detective all for naught.    I mean, If I found evidence, was I really going anywhere? Probably not!  Yet and still, I spent so much time stressing myself out over situations that were beyond my control. But now, I get it! Listen, if a person is going to be disloyal and unfaithful, they will go to extremes to dispose of the evidence.   There is NOTHING you can do to safeguard your heart from another person’s unfaithfulness, but what you can do is choose to accept the fact that you are dealing with such an individual and t...
Post a Comment
Read more