Why Are You Single?

Why Are You Single?

All to often I have heard individuals ask a woman why she's single. Most times there is an implication or suggestion that if she is single then something must be wrong.  Perhaps she is single because something is right. I happen to know plenty of beautiful, educated, and emotionally available women who are not willing to settle for a piece of a man for the sake of saying she has one.  Maybe I am confused; but I am still trying to figure out what’s so bad about the single life.  It sure beats being with someone and still being lonely. Nevertheless, I will take a moment to help you understand why many women are single.

The first year of my separation, I took time to heal.  I was in a broken place I wanted to make sure I cleansed myself of toxins and baggage.  I knew the man God had for me, in my future, deserved a woman who was whole and complete.  I took time and discovered me.  I reconnected with my inner-self.  I dated myself and I recognized areas in my life where I could improve. In short, I invested a lot of time in bettering myself.

Not only did I work on myself internally, but externally too.  I began to pursue my goals. I learned how to live a fulfilled life.  I discovered businesses and ventures that were lying dormant in me.  I began building an empire and legacy that I could leave behind for my daughter.  I yielded my heart to helping others who were emotionally damaged.  I learned what it was like to sacrifice unselfishly.  I embraced my singleness on every level, and I made myself a promise to not settle for what I don’t want for the sake of being wanted.

You see, most career-minded women who have their “ish” together aren’t willing to jeopardize their happiness, sanity, and lifestyle for just anyone.  Do we want a man?  Yes!  Are we willing to settle for any man?  Heck no!

I tell young ladies all the time, it is okay to build with a man, but be certain he already has a blue print and foundation laid.  I have run into way too many men, thirty-five years and older, who are looking for a sponsor.  They say they want a woman they can build with, but they come to the construction site without wood, bricks, nails, or even a hammer.  These men are broke and broken and when you try to encourage them or present a better way to them, they come up with excuses. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am for supporting my man ten toes down, but I will not be a sponsor to a grown man.  Some men expect women to be their counselor, cook, provider, encourager, arm piece, intimate partner, etc., but have nothing to give to her aside from sex, and she likely don’t want that.  There are men who feel that their presence is enough, and while it is good, it doesn’t pay the bills.

 

Truth be told, I will take single over settling.  After-all, its much better to wait long then marry wrong.

My name is Tiffany LaMeia and I am dedicated to becoming a better me, encouraging you to be a better you, and helping you to understand that you are #ENOUGH!  -Have a Prosperous Day!