Woman to Woman!
I spend a lot of time writing to encourage single women but
seldom do I yield and take a moment to uplift the married woman who feels like
giving up. I realize that
sometimes you just need someone to encourage you to hold and keep fighting. Sometimes
you need someone to help show you how to fight.
Sometimes you just need some good advice.
I start by saying this, yes I am a woman who experienced
divorce, but I am also a woman who believes strongly in marriage. Truth is, had I not gone through what I
went through, I wouldn’t be able to pour into others as I do. If you are that woman who is fighting to hold on
to your marriage, let me share with you a few things I wish I had known. Much of this is found in my book “The Other
Woman.” These are lessons I have learned, A.D. (after
divorce).
1.)
Wives, it is your responsibility to cover your
husband in prayer. As you go through
marriage, disappointments will come from: words both spoken and unspoken, deeds
done and undone, and actions taken and missed.
It is easy to base treatment of your husband upon how he treats you, but
maturity teaches you that you must treat him kindly even if he doesn’t
reciprocate.
2.)
Cover your husband at all times, no exceptions.
Your ability to pray for your husband through ups and downs positions your
household to overcome adversity, when it knocks at your door.
3.)
Choose your battles. If you complain over a dish in the sink or
the toilet seat up, then your major concerns will have less of an impact. Fight
when it matters, but also be willing to secede. Don’t allow a minor problem to
become a major problem because you wouldn’t let it go. You have to decide if winning the argument is more important than winning the marriage.
4.)
If you must fight, fight fair. Don’t speak anything over your husband that
you don’t want to see manifested. Your
words have power. It will take years of kind words to uproot the harsh ones, once spoken.
5.)
Choose when you discuss important matters. Women, we are emotional beings, and we
naturally have mood swings which are usually a result of hormonal changes. When he walks in the house, the last thing he
wants to do is hear nagging. Your home should
be a safe haven for both of you; it’s your place of tranquility in a world of chaos.
At the end of the day, understand that you will both undergo
changes. Your bodies will change, your
mindsets will change, and your personalities will change. But rather
than changing apart, change together.
Am I an expert?
No! But I have invested a lot of
time praying, studying, and analyzing my own past, so that I have
a beautiful marriage in the future, and also help others. Why? Because I believe marriage can work if you work it.
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