What Kind of Friend Are You?

What Kind of Friend Are You? 

Ever heard a woman say that she doesn’t trust other women, or a man say he has more home girls than boys?  Honestly, I have uttered those words far too many times.  I grew up thinking females couldn’t be trusted, were all jealous, and were nothing but trouble.  I used to think that I naturally connected with males because I grew up with two brothers and no sisters, but I later learned I had adopted a mind frame that is often applauded in society.  I felt like having females in my life would produce nothing but drama.

As I grew older, life happened to me and the little trust I did have for women began to diminish.  Before I knew it, I found myself alone in this big world.  Aside from the two solid friendships I had from childhood, I didn’t have anyone I really could consider a friend.  I felt like was me against the world.

I didn’t have friends I could call to meet for dinner or go to the movies with, and truth be told,  I didn’t want anyone like that in my life.  I was broken and closed off to any chance of forging any meaningful same-sex relationships.  I was content with the life I had, but I wouldn’t dare to say I was happy.

It wasn’t until I started the job I have now, that I realized that all people are not the same.  I found that the world did consist of some good people with good hearts.  I don‘t even remember when or how it happened, but before I knew it, one of my colleagues had become a best friend.  For the first time, in a long time, I experienced the beauty of sisterhood.  We supported each other and helped each other in trying times.  We were able to be real and transparent with each other and we resolved conflict without it ruining our friendship.  She taught me what being a friend was and there was no competition.  Once our friendship began to mature, God sent more ladies into my life.  Now I am surrounded by beautiful, successful, and supportive women.  We support each other.

In hindsight, if these ladies would’ve entered my life when I was younger, I wouldn’t have been mature enough to be their friend.  It took me growing through heart break to become friend worthy.  I believe that the hurt that I experienced positioned me to never want to hurt anyone, I love, in the same regard. I had to rid myself of low self-esteem so I wouldn’t ruin the friendship with jealousy and envy.  I realized the importance of showing support and sacrificing my time even if I didn’t feel like it. I ultimately I had to become the friend that I wanted to have.  Once I began to change, I connected with women of like minds. I became my sisters’ keeper.

Now that I have come into my own, I always freeze when I hear someone say I don’t need anyone; and I reflect back to the times when I too was like that.   While I understand what they are saying, my heart aches for them because I know if I had not opened my heart to friendship, I would be missing out on so many priceless moments.  It is when you are free to give love that you become free to receive.

I wouldn’t dare think that I would have the success that I now experience without these women in my life.  At the end of the day, we are all better together.

I challenge each reader, to think to yourself what kind of friend you are.  Do you treat your friends as you’d want to be treated? Do you carry their hearts as your own?  Can you be trusted with your friend’s greatest secret and not use it as a tool to hurt them?  If you can’t answer yes to this question, you may find, like I did, that the problem is you.

My name is Tiffany LaMeia and I am dedicated to becoming a better me, encouraging you to be a better you, and helping you to understand that you are #ENOUGH!  -Have a Prosperous Day!